


Lexa Woods vs the World

by ladymarvell



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Scott Pilgrim AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-26
Updated: 2015-08-26
Packaged: 2018-04-17 06:59:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 811
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4657008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladymarvell/pseuds/ladymarvell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So in order to continue my romantic relationship with Clarke, I have to fight,"</p><p>"Defeat."</p><p>"Defeat seven of her exes?"</p><p>"Yes."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lexa Woods vs the World

There is nothing quite like getting suckerpunched in the face to make you question every decision you've ever made in your life to get you to the certain point where someone feels the need to suckerpunch you in the face. And Lexa Woods knows she's not the friendliest of people but she can't think of recently offending anyone to that degree.

Lexa looks over at the owner of that fine right hook. She sees a bushel of red hair and freckles dotted across her face like a bridge from one cheek to the other. Her first thought is _cute._

Her second thought is _what the holy hell!?_

And her third thought is _oh shit,_ as she sees the cute freckled redhead with a mean right hook pull a freaking ax out of her cute mini-beaded purse _a la_ Mary Poppins style.

 _"_ What the fuck?" _ _ _ _  
____

____"____ Lexa Woods. I am Lilly. The first of seven of Clarke's evil exes. Now prepare to die."

 ____"____ Die!?"

"Well I'll settle for bruised and abused." Lilly grins and it looks ferocious and mean like the grin of bobcat about to pounce on some unsuspecting rodent. Lexa should probably be intimidated but she's still a bit confused.

"I don't understand."Lexa tells her, in the hope that she'll maybe put the ax down and pull out a brochure or pie chart from her magic purse to explain the situation. Lilly relaxes out of her fighting stance, her ferocious grin morphing into a disgruntled frown.

"Didn't you get my text?"

Okay, you see, Lexa has a phone but her phone is kind of the most annoying thing on the planet. Anya had stolen it approximately three minutes and 37 seconds after Lexa bought it and changed all the settings so her phone makes inappropriate and obnoxious sounds all the time. Like a farting noise whenever Tristan calls and a duck quacking when Indra texts. So Lexa tries to avoid her phone as much as possible rather than admit that she has no idea how to change the settings. Anya's teasing would be relentless and Lexa's not about that life right now. She needs an aura of seriousness if she is ever going to get that political internship so Lexa keeps her phone off most of the time.

"Uh..."

"Check your phone dumbass!" Anya yells from the bar, where she is sitting next to Clarke, who has one hand on her hip and the other on her forehead like she's trying to decide if she should cover her eyes or not.

Lexa pulls at her messenger bag (the non-magical kind) and digs around old Starbucks receipts and ballpoint pens for her phone. When she feels her fingers wrap around the jewel studded case she yanks the phone free with a triumphant sense of relief. And sure enough she has a missed text. Lexa reads the message in a state of disbelief. She turns back to Lilly for confirmation.

"So in order to continue my romantic relationship with Clarke, I have to fight,"

"Defeat."

"Defeat seven of her exes?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"To prove you're worthy of her love!" Lilly answers in a voice that suggests that this is obvious information. And everyone has to fight their current significant other's previous paramours to earn a couple of dates to the Tondc Museum of Sciences and the dingy Grounder's bar.

"Are you serious?" Lilly just throws a look at Lexa that's like _duh_ _._ Lexa is trying to comprehend that she now has to fight seven evil exes for Clarke. Lexa turns to look at the blonde.

"Is she serious?"

"Yes." Clarke confirms, but at least she doesn't really look happy about it. Her face looks 50% worried, 40% embarrassed and 10% completely tired of this bullshit. It's a small percentage but Lexa spends a lot of her time being 100% done with everybody so she can sense that aggravation in others instantly. Despite all that Clarke is still 100%, a total babe. Lexa thinks _we haven't even made out yet_.

"We're dating?"

Clarke's face changes then into a smile that doesn't completely take up her face but it's definitely an improvement to the sour expression she was wearing just a moment ago. Clarke nods her head. While Lexa is in the middle of processing _I am dating Clarke Griffin,_ the blade of Lilly's ax comes down between Lexa's feet. Anya jumps up from the bar stool and yells the one word Lexa needed to hear to get her head in the game.

"Fight!"

Lexa jumps on top of the ax blade imbedded in the floor, runs down the staff and ducks down to punch Lilly in her stupid cute face. Lexa has one goal right now, and if she needs to beat Lilly down in order to make out with Clarke Griffin tonight...well, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on my tumbla: @asexualravenreyes


End file.
